Marriage & the step parent dilemma

<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuE04Z_-ECR8r1o0rGth7g-09NrKePz2WyUadCCaIdXdG_qsn4QeGWDgaqxrNDu_9qTwkCpCksiJnRdMvjbQyGnsiV7_O0TfpGsNTAOLpoMN8Zxfcv1n-KajKWGSqiIyhFj2N00Cu1IVPP/s1600/Step+parent+blended+multiculture+family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuE04Z_-ECR8r1o0rGth7g-09NrKePz2WyUadCCaIdXdG_qsn4QeGWDgaqxrNDu_9qTwkCpCksiJnRdMvjbQyGnsiV7_O0TfpGsNTAOLpoMN8Zxfcv1n-KajKWGSqiIyhFj2N00Cu1IVPP/s1600/Step+parent+blended+multiculture+family.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The society in which we live today is filled with wonderful blended families that come in all shapes and sizes.  We're not just talking about couples coming together from different cultural backgrounds, but also couples coming together, each with children of their own. (How could we forget The Brady Bunch - if only it was that easy). So many of the couples I see as a celebrant have families like this.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The joining of two families can be a really wonderful experience, but it would be remiss not to mention the fact that it can also be exceptionally difficult and fraught with potential disasters, particularly when combined with the stress of planning a wedding. Step parenting is never easy and we all know very well that planning a wedding can be overwhelming, even for the calmest of couples, but combining the two can see some couples in total despair.</span><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To any of you who have successfully brought two families together while planning and executing an amazig wedding, we commend you. You truly deserve a round of applause.</span><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">BUT, for those of you (and I'm sure there are many) who are currently struggling with a suddenly much larger family, while trying to plan your big day and include children and step children, then we symapthise and are here to help.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In working with many couples in this situation I have put together a few ideas I wanted to share with you that may hopefully help you in finding ways to include children and step children and ease the stress of  any family tension that may be lingering.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">I have found that finding ways to include and unite the family on such a public level really helps to strengthen the bond and puts the focus on inclusion and unity rather than exclusion and individuality. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">Here are some ideas to help:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">1. If the children are old enough allow them to act as junior bridesmaids/groomsmen. Asking them to stand beside you earns them a level of importance and respect that you may find helps them to feel apart of it all. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">2. If you are each coming to the marriage with a couple of children it may not be practical to have them as attendant in the ceremony. I once did a ceremony for a couple where they each had 3 children and so they bought each of them a gold letter (the childs first initial) and as part of the ceremony each child was asked to come forward as the step parent placed the necklace on and gave them a kiss. All  the guests were crying and the children were so proud and pleased it was beautiful.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">3. Include a unity ritual in your ceremony. A great way of making children feel included is by having a unifying ritual. A sand ceremony is a great example (<a href="http://theweddinggurus.blogspot.com.au/2012/01/week-2-sand-ceremony.html">see our sand ceremony for an example</a>) I perform many sand ceremonies with families which usually requires a vase of coloured sand each different and representing the particular family member, They each then pour their sand into the large vase so the colours layer beautiful and then the vas eis then sealed. The glass can be engraved with the wedidng details or an engraved plaque put on the front. Once on display in the home the significance of the once single colours of sand that can now never be seperated again from the others is a constant reminder of the families bond. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">4. If they are not wanting or confident enough to take part in the ceremony then give them a job. </span><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ushering guests, handing out rose petals or bubbles. This will allow them to have a purpose on the day. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We really hope this helps and if you are still stuck feel free to contact us and we will be happy to help with more ideas.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">The Wedding Gurus</span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial;">xxx</span><br /><br />

Marriage & the step parent dilemma

The society in which we live today is filled with wonderful blended families that come in all shapes and sizes.  We're not just talking ...

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Backup Plans for Outdoor Weddings

<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCSXsO6Z-wX6qaBTz6GMhOgpkD3UZPSFgEKHevn9eLYCgcj87Sokvc9AjjjlBt0H95hTdXeb28XCHNw8grXfjH13KiiXEIxgi5wfPutjRAhYiKWUb9XdHSe8SNc3-lXzaQE51rk44Ftlwr/s1600/raincu1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; height: 134px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; width: 203px;"><img border="0" height="132" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCSXsO6Z-wX6qaBTz6GMhOgpkD3UZPSFgEKHevn9eLYCgcj87Sokvc9AjjjlBt0H95hTdXeb28XCHNw8grXfjH13KiiXEIxgi5wfPutjRAhYiKWUb9XdHSe8SNc3-lXzaQE51rk44Ftlwr/s200/raincu1.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"></span><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">So you’ve organised a lavish and beautiful wedding down on the golden sands of an amazing beach where the waves slowly crash to the ground making beautiful sounds perfect for the backdrop of your gorgeous ceremony at the waters edge. Your Bali flags are flapping brilliantly in the subtle wind and your flower laden archway looks like a piece of paradise against the vast water behind it. </span><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">Doesn’t it sound just perfect? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br /><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">Well it is until the nasty black cloud hovers overhead and begins to throw nasty big rain drops on your amazingly thought out setting. Yes nature can be very cruel and she doesn’t particularly care about all of the effort you have put in to your special day.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">I write this because recently I performed a ceremony for a couple who had organised the perfect ceremony as described and despite my forewarning that sometimes the weather can change and a backup plan is worthwhile, they didn’t have anything in place.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">When it began to rain hard about 20 minutes prior to the ceremony, they were forced to make a decision. Postpone the wedding, Wait out the rain or move venues. Given that they had a reception booked and would run out of time, waiting it out was not an option so they decided to do the only thing possible and ended up moving the ceremony to the Bride’s mother’s back garden under her verandah (rainproof of course!)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">So I just wanted to remind everyone as we plan through spring which is notoriously windy and very unpredictable, to HAVE A BACKUP PLAN!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="font-family: "Microsoft PhagsPa", "sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;">Simply ensuring that you have an alternate and suitable indoor venue will ensure that you are not running for the nearest shelter if the unthinkable happens. No one likes to see a soggy or windblown bride!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><br /><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #b2a1c7; font-family: "Segoe Script", "sans-serif"; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themetint: 153;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7030a0; font-family: "Segoe Script", "sans-serif"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Susan x</span></b></div></span></b> </div>

Backup Plans for Outdoor Weddings

So you’ve organised a lavish and beautiful wedding down on the golden sands of an amazing beach where the waves slowly crash to the ground m...

Read more »